Family violence is one of the most serious and sensitive issues to come before British Columbia’s family courts. It affects people across all demographics, regardless of age, income, education, or cultural background, and has both immediate and long-term consequences for the safety, well-being, and stability of families.
Despite significant public awareness campaigns and recent legal reforms, many misconceptions still surround family violence. These myths can prevent victims from seeking help, influence how abuse is perceived, and even affect how individuals approach family court proceedings.
Myth 1: Family Violence Only Means Physical Abuse
When most people think of family violence, they imagine physical assault: hitting, pushing, or other forms of bodily harm. But under British Columbia law, the definition of family violence is far broader.
The Family Law Act (FLA) defines family violence to include not only physical abuse, but also sexual, psychological, emotional, and financial abuse. It also encompasses harassment, stalking, intimidation, and threats to harm a person, their children, pets, or property. Importantly, exposing a child (directly or indirectly) to any form of family violence is itself considered a form of family violence under the FLA.
This expansive definition recognizes that controlling, manipulative, or degrading behaviour can have effects as serious and lasting as physical violence. Victims may experience isolation, fear, and long-term trauma even if no physical injuries are visible.
Myth 2: Family Violence Only Occurs Between Spouses
Another common misconception is that family violence occurs only between spouses or intimate partners. In reality, the legal definition under the Family Law Act extends much further.
“Family member” includes spouses, former spouses, people living together in a marriage-like relationship, parents and children, and others related by blood, adoption, or marriage. This means that family violence provisions apply to a wide range of relationships, including those between parents and adult children, siblings, or extended relatives living in the same household.
This broad scope ensures that vulnerable individuals are protected even when the violence comes from a non-partner, such as an elderly parent experiencing abuse from an adult child, or a child witnessing violence between other family members. Family violence is a matter of relationship dynamics and power, not simply romantic or marital status.
Myth 3: Family Violence Must Be Reported to the Police to Be Taken Seriously
It is true that incidents of violence may also constitute criminal offences, such as assault, uttering threats, or criminal harassment. However, family violence can be addressed in family court even if the police are not involved.
The Family Law Act allows victims to seek protection orders directly from the court when there are concerns about their safety and well-being. A protection order can outline conditions such as prohibiting contact, requiring a person to stay away from specific locations, or restricting communication through third parties or electronic means. These orders are civil remedies, though breaching them is a criminal offence.
Many victims hesitate to involve the police due to fear, shame, or concern for family members. The law recognizes this and provides multiple pathways for protection, including through family court proceedings. Reporting to the police is not required for a court to acknowledge that family violence has occurred.
Myth 4: Family Violence Must Be Ongoing or Severe to Matter in Court
Some people believe that isolated or less “severe” incidents will not affect how the court handles parenting or other family law issues. This is incorrect.
Under section 37 of the Family Law Act, courts must consider the presence of any family violence when determining what is in the best interests of the child. This includes the nature, seriousness, frequency, and pattern of the violence, the likelihood of future harm, and whether the victim fears for their safety. Even a single incident can have a lasting impact on a child’s emotional well-being and sense of security.
In parenting decisions, the court’s paramount concern is always the child’s safety and best interests, not whether the violence meets a criminal threshold or has continued over time. Judges take all credible evidence of family violence seriously, regardless of frequency or intensity.
Myth 5: Victims Can Simply “Leave” the Relationship
The notion that victims of family violence can easily leave their abuser is one of the most damaging myths — and one of the most dangerous.
Leaving an abusive situation can be the most high-risk time for a victim. Abusers often escalate their behaviour when they sense a loss of control. Victims may also face practical barriers such as financial dependency, lack of safe housing, immigration status, fear of losing custody (called decision-making responsibility) or access to children (parenting time), or social stigma. Emotional manipulation and trauma bonding can further complicate the decision to leave.
British Columbia has specialized resources to support individuals in these circumstances, including transition houses, crisis lines, and victim services workers. Legal advice is also essential, particularly regarding parenting concerns, protection orders, and safety planning.
Myth 6: Family Violence Does Not Affect Parenting or Custody Decisions
Family violence is one of the most important factors considered in determining parenting arrangements under the Family Law Act. Section 37(2)(g) explicitly requires the court to consider the impact of any family violence on the child’s safety, security, and well-being.
The court will assess whether a parent can provide a safe, nurturing environment and whether exposure to the other parent may cause harm or distress. Even when the violence was not directed at the child, witnessing or being aware of it can cause significant emotional harm.
In cases involving proven or credible allegations of family violence, the court may:
- Restrict or supervise a parent’s contact with the child;
- Limit or deny parental decision-making authority;
- Require participation in counselling or intervention programs; or
- Impose detailed safety conditions on exchanges and communications.
The focus is always on protecting the child, not punishing the abusive parent. Courts are increasingly informed by research showing the profound and lasting effects of exposure to family violence on children’s emotional and developmental health.
Myth 7: Family Violence Is Easy to Prove
Family violence cases are often complex and emotionally charged. Many forms of abuse occur behind closed doors, without witnesses or clear physical evidence. Emotional, financial, and coercive control can be particularly difficult to demonstrate.
Courts consider the totality of the evidence, which can include testimony, text messages, social media communications, medical or counselling records, and witness statements. Judges assess credibility carefully, understanding that victims may delay disclosure, minimize incidents out of fear, or present inconsistently due to trauma.
The standard of proof in family court is the balance of probabilities; i.e., whether it is more likely than not that the violence occurred. This differs from the criminal standard of proof, which is beyond a reasonable doubt. Even in the absence of criminal charges or convictions, a family court may find that family violence occurred and take appropriate protective measures.
Moving Forward with Awareness and Support
Family violence is a profoundly personal and legally complex issue. Myths and misunderstandings about what constitutes abuse, how it is proven, and who it affects can have devastating consequences for victims and their families.
By understanding how the Family Law Act defines and addresses family violence, individuals can make informed decisions about their safety, their children, and their legal rights. Anyone experiencing or accused of family violence should seek immediate legal advice from a lawyer familiar with British Columbia’s family law system. Professional guidance is essential for navigating protection orders, parenting arrangements, and the broader implications of these serious allegations.
Contact Meridian Law Group for Trusted Family Law Advice in Vancouver
If you or someone you know is facing issues related to family violence, the family lawyers at Meridian Law Group can help. We provide compassionate, confidential legal advice and representation in all matters involving family violence, protection orders, and parenting disputes. Contact us online or call (604) 687-2277 to discuss your situation and learn how we can help you protect yourself and your family.
